Rattlesnake8
December 20th, 2006, 02:52 am
This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls - Have a
>sense of humour!
>I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
>so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
>have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
>
>FOR EXAMPLE:
>One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,
>the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel
>like it, I just want you to hold me."I said, "WHAT??!!
>What was that?!"So she says the words that very boyfriend on the planet
>dreads to hear...
>
>"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
>me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my
>puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not
>what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to
>happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take
>the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch
>and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked
>around with her while she tried on several different very expensive
>outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just
>buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I
>said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewellery
>department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell
>you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short
>of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked
>for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I
>think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was
>almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
>with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear,
>let's go to the cashier."
>
>I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
>feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped
>with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD
>this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial
>needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a
>woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me,
>I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
>Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch
>knows I'm smarter than her.
>sense of humour!
>I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
>so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
>have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
>
>FOR EXAMPLE:
>One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,
>the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel
>like it, I just want you to hold me."I said, "WHAT??!!
>What was that?!"So she says the words that very boyfriend on the planet
>dreads to hear...
>
>"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
>me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my
>puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not
>what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to
>happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take
>the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch
>and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked
>around with her while she tried on several different very expensive
>outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just
>buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I
>said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewellery
>department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell
>you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short
>of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked
>for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I
>think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was
>almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
>with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear,
>let's go to the cashier."
>
>I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
>feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped
>with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD
>this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial
>needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a
>woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me,
>I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
>Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch
>knows I'm smarter than her.